What happens if you take a poly girl, someone who's spent most of her adult life around other poly and/or open friends, and move her to the Philadelphia suburbs and a whole new batch of people? Sometimes, she goes crazy. If she's as paralyzingly shy as me, she just does it quietly. Then, three years later, she realizes she's making herself miserable, that her lovers from Texas are not moving up here, and she needs to "Get over her shit" as the Husband says. Cue online dating hilarity!
First, there was the guy who sent me unsolicited, badly written vanilla erotica. (Yes, vanilla. No, I'm not, we'll get into that later - one deviant habit at a time!) I never replied to it, it just kept showing up. Finally I sent back several of them with spelling and grammar mistakes fixed and he stopped.
More recently, there was a young man who wanted to, well, essentially, be my bitch. He was volunteering to do my laundry and clean my house in exchange for which I would have sex with people who weren't him, and tell him about and make fun of his (apparently) small penis. I know, I know, sounds like a dream deal, right? Except that 1. the guy is obviously nuts to be contacting me, since nowhere in my profile does it suggest I'll top anyone, 2. I have a husband, this guy being the cuckold really doesn't work, 3. It's just fucking creepy, and I know I'd end up putting the lotion in the basket or something. I sent him a very polite refusal, and didn't respond to further arguments. The Husband thinks the guy was actually trying to get a really bitchy rejection that he could then spank his little subbie heart out over.
The Husband is probably right about that one, but if someone can manage to make a request in clear, correct, polite English, I feel like I ought to at least send them a "No, thank you" note. Just because I think they're nuts is no reason to be rude.
There have been some better, less bizarre interactions. I've started using the dating site to try to find other poly couples to talk to, hang out with, etc. That's going semi-well although there's hilarity there too. One of the gentleman I contacted because he's been in a successful very long-term poly relationship instantly assumed that I was contacting him for purposes of getting boned stupid. I haven't actually figured out a way to dissuade him without being a bitch, so currently I'm letting him chase me and hoping he gets tired. Alternately, I'll think of a way to explain to him what I was actually trying to do in terms he'll understand.
The most successful so far I went and met last weekend, I'll call him Epsilon. He's about an hour's drive away, not too bad, but not convenient either. He's not creepy, or demanding, or lying to his girlfriend. His perversions line up pretty well with mine. He's a programmer, which is nice because it's not something the Husband really enjoys talking about. Essentially, Epsilon is that most important thing - someone I'd talk to and spend time with even if I didn't want to go to bed with him. It's funny how that works. Of course, we ended up necking in the back of a car, which just goes to show how mature we are. Also, how excellent we are at planning ahead.
There will definitely be more about both of those last two as the situations develop. Tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel.
First, there was the guy who sent me unsolicited, badly written vanilla erotica. (Yes, vanilla. No, I'm not, we'll get into that later - one deviant habit at a time!) I never replied to it, it just kept showing up. Finally I sent back several of them with spelling and grammar mistakes fixed and he stopped.
More recently, there was a young man who wanted to, well, essentially, be my bitch. He was volunteering to do my laundry and clean my house in exchange for which I would have sex with people who weren't him, and tell him about and make fun of his (apparently) small penis. I know, I know, sounds like a dream deal, right? Except that 1. the guy is obviously nuts to be contacting me, since nowhere in my profile does it suggest I'll top anyone, 2. I have a husband, this guy being the cuckold really doesn't work, 3. It's just fucking creepy, and I know I'd end up putting the lotion in the basket or something. I sent him a very polite refusal, and didn't respond to further arguments. The Husband thinks the guy was actually trying to get a really bitchy rejection that he could then spank his little subbie heart out over.
The Husband is probably right about that one, but if someone can manage to make a request in clear, correct, polite English, I feel like I ought to at least send them a "No, thank you" note. Just because I think they're nuts is no reason to be rude.
There have been some better, less bizarre interactions. I've started using the dating site to try to find other poly couples to talk to, hang out with, etc. That's going semi-well although there's hilarity there too. One of the gentleman I contacted because he's been in a successful very long-term poly relationship instantly assumed that I was contacting him for purposes of getting boned stupid. I haven't actually figured out a way to dissuade him without being a bitch, so currently I'm letting him chase me and hoping he gets tired. Alternately, I'll think of a way to explain to him what I was actually trying to do in terms he'll understand.
The most successful so far I went and met last weekend, I'll call him Epsilon. He's about an hour's drive away, not too bad, but not convenient either. He's not creepy, or demanding, or lying to his girlfriend. His perversions line up pretty well with mine. He's a programmer, which is nice because it's not something the Husband really enjoys talking about. Essentially, Epsilon is that most important thing - someone I'd talk to and spend time with even if I didn't want to go to bed with him. It's funny how that works. Of course, we ended up necking in the back of a car, which just goes to show how mature we are. Also, how excellent we are at planning ahead.
There will definitely be more about both of those last two as the situations develop. Tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel.
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